Sentimental Heart

Don’t grab more than what you can chew

God. You know what pisses me off, people who think they could execute such an explosive idea when they can’t even execute something simple. What’s even worse is that people who care, already told you, It’s not going to work out if you continue with this or Remove that! It’s so distracting! and they still don’t listen. 

I understand, we all learn from our mistakes and yadda yadda yadda, ahh shut it. The problem is they don’t even know it’s a mistake. It’s their huge heads getting into their system when it comes to this. I know loads of pressure is placed on us because we are supposed to be this and that, but it doesn’t mean that there’s only one way to get the gold. Sometimes you need to listen to others. You know what they say, someone will always be better than you. Tough love, isn’t it?

I had to learn this the hard way, after all the “hard work”, “participation” and humiliation. It wasn’t easy, but it was worth it. I still can’t believe after all this so called, “hard work” and “participation”  you guys placed , you still haven’t learned your lesson (even after the humiliation, wonderful). 

Film Adaption of 13 Reason Why

The book itself by Jay Asher is beyond beautiful. It taught me to give life a new perspective and I really am greatly influenced by this book even if I just read it overnight. What really got me awake was the rumour that there will be a film adaption. I was okay with that I mean, I imagined it to be in a film anyway but when i found out who would be the cast, I lost it.

Based on this mtv article. I initially thought, “Selena as Hannah Baker?! Are you kidding me?!” I really didn’t want it to be like this because Selena can’t really act in my opinion. To further expand my thoughts on this, here are 13 reasons why I would like/dislike 13 Reasons Why to become a film.

1. DISLIKE: Selena Gomez as Hannah Baker. Yes, Selena is pretty just as how Hannah probably is but, I cannot imagine Selena take such a serious role with so much emotion. The book itself made me feel so much emotion and having it to be acted upon is a tough act to follow. 
2. LIKE: If, and only if this film was nicely portrayed, it could give inspiration to the youth. 
3. DISLIKE: For some reason, I thought that peer pressure could fit here. Some people may be influenced for all the wrong reasons.
4. LIKE: When I found out that Logan Lerman was rumored to be casted as Clay, I really got excited. Logan was casted as Charlie in Perks and I absolutely love it because this character had lots of awkward stages and emotion to follow. Charlie was such an emotional person. I believe Logan could portray Clay.
5. DISLIKE: Point number 4 would most likely not happen because of Logan being part of the production of Perks.
6. DISLIKE: I honesty don’t want to get the book to become mainstream. As much as it deserves to become famous for the amazing message, I don’t want people to think that just because you know something doesn’t mean you are the queen/king of it. 
7. LIKE: I’m very curious to see how the book will be adapted in a 3-4 hour film.
8. DISLIKE: If this movie gets release, I hoped it will be shown in the Philippines. It sucks that some movies are shown late but, you know what they say: Better late than never.
9. LIKE: I want to see the cast. Who would be Courtney? Tyler? Justin?
10. LIKE: Curious to see if the directors/writers would edit some parts out.
11. DISLIKE: If those the movie doesn’t portray certain events that eventually affected the take-off of suspense and etc.
12. DISLIKE: Some people will conclude shit like they know everything about the book because it turned into a movie. (Similar to number 6)
13. DISLIKE: This might appear to graphic.

I am no expert in movies, but this is just my opinion about the film adaption. Either way, I will still give this a chance. The book gave me hope, I guess this would too.

Not a typical check up

Today, my mother told me I had to get my eye checked up because something it’s viral and etc. So we went to the hospital and everything. When I reached to the room/clinic, I sat down and filled some papers. Right after I did that, the song “Dust in the Wind” started playing. I was kinda frantic because I imagined myself dying because of something eye related (like in Final Destination 5). While the song was playing, I sat down and got to that machine where you place your chin and your head stays still. Fortunately, I didn’t need my eye to get laser-ed or something I just had it checked. 

I’m not dead, so yeah. Pretty dope. 

I’m getting soft.

I’ve been so vulnerable and not much people seem to care. I’m not being all depressed about my life. I’m just expressing my emotions (a typical reason for having a blog).

What happened to being independent? Being happy? The type of happiness where you can’t deny it. You can say with your whole heart, you are happy. What happened to the youth? I’m part of it, and I feel different than before. What happened?

When life gives you lemons, what happens?

I have to empty my cup.

For the past few days, I’ve been so stressed. It’s mainly because of council work, homeworks, quizzes and my characteristic of procrastinating things. I think I have this mentality that I could just accomplish things right away. Obviously, it’s not that easy. 

I don’t know what’s been going on with me. Maybe because I’ve been jealous of my other friends who always get what they want and I’m just the person there in the corner, just waiting for them to tell me. I don’t know. I think I just feel so empty because I don’t know what I want.

Now, ask yourself. What do you want? Aside from all those material things. I think I’m craving for something that isn’t tangible. Emotion, Thoughts, Effort. I think I need that.This empty feeling in me keeps bugging my system. I become all bipolar and crap. It isn’t healthy. Having mood swings even without your Japan flag is just weird. Ironically, I’m telling you that having mood swings is just horrible and I have them. I don’t know.

I feel so undecided. I don’t know what I want. I don’t know what my goals are. I don’t know why I am so depressed. I’ve been so uninspired for the passed month already. Thinking positive is just temporary. After a while, it’ll just fade away.

It sucks doesn’t it? Maybe, all I need is to empty my cup. Not literally. Jeez. I think my brain is filled with so much emotion. It doesn’t have enough capacity to grasp on everything I should feel. I try to let go, but then not everything goes away. There’s this part of me that still dwells on the past. I don’t know how to get over. My brain is just overflowing with too much things. I can’t handle it.

I don’t know how to let go. It’s hard.I just need to empty my cup.